Nov 09 2014
Boarding this ferry that takes me away from my adoptive home, the Great Britain, my new life begins.
I’m not starting from scratch, I’m leaving no past on my back, I have not reset my debts. The ship I’m sailing is the same with the same cargo.
But it’s me the captain today and like the unnamed protagonist of The Shadow-Line, I grab the helm and I start leading towards a destination to be decided, under my total responsibility.
Differently than Conrad’s character, this is not my first time to revolutionise my condition. Differently than the past, this time I decide not to be victim of the events.
Getting away with my motorbike, from my friends, from my affections, from the routine, resets the constraints on my decisions, frees me from many unnoticeable, sweet and reassuring strings that shape the daily actions and as a consequence it totally loads me with the mechanic repressibility of my doing.
I’ve been told I have ‘courage’. Instead, I think it’s ‘fear’ the proper name to describe the energy that pushes me in this adventure.
Fear of not being myself, fear of not being able to do and express as I really I feel I should, fear of not being sincere.
As a consequence of this fear, more than one year ago I decided to drop everything, but do not misunderstand, I didn’t decide to run away I decided instead to clench my fists a for the past year I fought to modify the world around me.
The result is that today I’m here on this ferry that takes me away fro my adoptive home towards destinations that no one knows.